April 30, 2020 from Delhi

It's a hot sunny day today and the flight ticket back to Taipei is finally confirmed. I felt a little relaxed that I finally can go home, even though there is another two weeks quarantine when reach Taiwan. It is almost two months since my first day to Delhi. Never imagine that I will come to work in India.

It is difficult for people like me from Taiwan to imagine life style in India that people struggle to make a living. Life quality is very different between rich and poor. Few days I saw news report talking about Asia's richest man Adani, who is an Indian superseded China's billionaire Jack Ma. At the same time, India's have poorest people (more than 60%) whose daily living expenses are less than 1 or 2 US dollar per day. I feel like that I am very lucky to have okay salary and life style.

Somewhat I also feel a little bite scared about the corona virus update in India that confirmed cases is getting higher. Just checked the number that confirmed cases reached to almost 35 thousands. During past 6 weeks of lock-down, I often have troubles of getting sleep. I don't know when I can return to Delhi even though I don't want to. However, it is my job here and I need to make living to support kids' education and pay mortgage. I hope that I can pay off mortgage and support kids education and save money for retirement pension. I don't expect too much but just money enough for retirement.

Maybe it is because of divorce that I feel upset and blue about life. Not much energy and confidence to start a serious relationship. Sometimes I wonder if I will live alone when I retire and die without anyone know. I feel sorry for my dad as he is facing similar challenges but I can't be there for him. I hope that he can find a mate to accompany with him. I want to find a mate but not sure if I can afford one. It is also not fair to her even though I don't where she is. I felt sorry to Jennifer as she accompany me within almost past two years. However, I feel that we are different type of persons having different kind of mentality and philosophy. In addition, I also felt that she value money a lot which I can't support her and satisfy her needs.

Recently, I met a girl Marie online through internations and chat few times. Marie is 27 years old and will turn 28 recently living Austin, Texas. Her parents died and her half brother lives in UK. She is cute and I like her even though I haven't met her before. Is it strange and even stranger for an old man like me? I don't know how it is going to work out that she is at the other side of earth and 18 years younger than me. I am not sure I have courage to chase her and how. I am the kind of guy who can't live alone. I thought I can but I can't after these 3 years. It is pretty challenging for me.