Vent my freaking sad mood

Cry is normal, but I am not a "normal" person
In order to expressing more "rational" I hide my sad feeling, especially crying.

Now I know love a man is normal and same sex romantic is normal, but I still seem crying as negative and dangerous for my boundary.

Is not about my sensuality, but about my emotional status.

When I was a child, crying and sad is a taboo, I can't express the feeling freely, and faced on judgement from my parent, they said;
Is not masculine! Boy shouldn't cry! (Or you look like a girl)

WTF for that, Are you crazy?
Men also have sad feeling and need to expression, why? Cause we are human being!!! Not others!!!
At last, is sadly for my emotional limitations, although no emotional can make me more rational, but sometimes when I in sad and upset, I can't express my feeling freely.

oh~ what a sad moment!

Freaking ending paragraph, I need not you!